


Time for Love

by fhartz91



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mention of blood, Romance, eventual mention of illness, mention of cheating, mention of non/dub-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-05 20:52:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12197211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhartz91/pseuds/fhartz91
Summary: A few nights a week, Blaine comes to Kurt's window and begs Kurt to let him in. After what Blaine did, after what he's become, Kurt wants him to simply disappear so he can go on with his life. But that's hard when Blaine is still his one true love, regardless of what form he's taken.





	1. Midnight Rendezvous

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to add notes for this as the chapters go up and the story unfolds. But for this first chapter, just know that there's a twist to what's going on here, and thus, a mention of blood. It's not gory, just, there it is. Proceed with caution. I will not take responsibility for someone being triggered because they felt unprepared. This is a re-write.

“ _Kurt_ …”

Kurt hears the eerie hiss of Blaine’s voice through the closed window of his bedroom. It’s harsh and raspy, like the blood-chilling sigh of a cobra as it spreads its hood and mesmerizes its prey. Kurt lies completely still, the way he would if he _were_ being pursued by a snake, in the hopes that Blaine will think he’s asleep and go away.

It doesn’t work.

It never does.

“Ku-urt … open the window, Kurt …”

Kurt turns towards the window, seething in frustration. He can see only Blaine’s eyes peering at him in the dark, the rest of his face shrouded by the shadows the branches make on the tree he’s crouching inside of.

“Go away, Blaine,” Kurt groans.

“I can’t.” Blaine presses his hands and face against the glass of Kurt’s locked window. “I want it, Kurt. I _need_ it.”

“Blaine” – Kurt’s heavy eyelids fight to stay open long enough to get rid of his obnoxious visitor - “there are _hundreds_ of men in the state of Ohio who can give it to you.”

“But I want _you_ ,” Blaine insists. “You’re the best.”

“Be that as it may, you’re not getting any.” Kurt flips over dramatically, facing his back to Blaine in an attempt to hide his triumphant grin. His chest swells with a bizarre feeling of pride.

_The best._

What a tacky thing to be proud of, but he’ll take what he can get.

“Oh, don’t be such a prude,” Blaine grumbles. “You know you love it, too.”

Kurt tosses defiantly back and sits upright to fully face the boy hovering outside his window.

“What a morbid thing to say! I certainly do not.”

“Don’t give me that. I know you, Kurt. In some ways, I know you better than you know yourself. I’ve tasted you …”

Blaine smirks as Kurt turns red, his whole face burning like a torch in less than a second. He retreats to the safety of his comforter, wrapping it tight around his shoulders, but an inch or two of fabric does little to help. He’s still trapped by Blaine’s hypnotic stare.

“I know it turns you on. I hear the way you whimper …” Blaine traces down the pane of glass with a single finger. “I see the way you bite your lip, trying so desperately not to moan …”

Kurt’s eyes track Blaine’s fingertip as it outlines the edge of the glass. It stops on the ledge where the lock to Kurt’s window is fastened shut, tapping right above it as if he is simply waiting out the inevitable.

And for the feeling of Blaine’s fingers on his flesh again, it’s almost worth Kurt breaking his solemn promise to himself and letting the bastard in.

Blaine isn’t wrong. Ever since the first time Blaine convinced Kurt to do it, Kurt realized he’s kind of a masochist as far as Blaine is concerned. Even now, as he tries so hard to resist, he can feel his heart pounding faster and faster in his chest, longing to give in, to give Blaine what he wants. Regardless of his heart’s begging to let Blaine have him, or his body that’s begun to react without his consent, Kurt isn’t just about to lay himself bare for Blaine

He doesn’t like to make it too easy.

“My answer is _no_ , Blaine,” Kurt declares, snuggling down into his bed and closing his eyes.

“Fine.” Blaine growls, feral and threatening, all pretense of slow, sophisticated seduction gone. That growl used to strike fear in Kurt’s heart, make his blood run cold. Now it makes him _hot_. “Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, if you don’t open this window right now and let me in, I’m going to start singing Spice Girls songs at the top of my lungs all night long!”

Exhausted or not, that definitely gets Kurt’s attention. He pops up in bed and meets Blaine’s burning glare with an icy stare of his own.

“You … wouldn’t … dare,” Kurt challenges, determined to stand his ground, but the second Blaine opens his mouth to start singing, Kurt stumbles out of bed and runs to his window. He undoes the lock and pushes open the window before a single word of ‘Wannabe’ leaves Blaine’s lips.

“Won’t you please come in?” Kurt snaps, not even trying to hide his irritation. Blaine slinks through, grinning from ear to ear. He closes and locks the window behind him, following Kurt as he trudges back to bed. Kurt trundles beneath the comforter and rolls himself up, leaving an arm sticking out.

“Get on with it,” Kurt says. “I have a calc test in the morning and I want to at least get an hour of sleep.”

Blaine looks down at Kurt, wrapped in his blankets like a human burrito, and frowns.

“As adorable as this is” - Blaine moves to the other side of the bed and climbs beside the bundled body of Kurt Hummel - “I would really like to hold you.”

Kurt peeks out from a gap in his burrow and rolls his eyes.

“Fine.” He pulls apart his carefully wrapped cocoon to let Blaine crawl inside. Blaine winds his arms around Kurt, trying his best not to hold him too tight. He doesn’t want to accidentally hurt him. He takes Kurt’s arm and raises his wrist to his mouth. He kisses the soft skin, pressing his lips against it to feel the pulse thrumming there, calling to him.

“Do you miss it?” Kurt murmurs, enjoying the coolness of Blaine’s lips against his skin.

“What?” Blaine asks taking a deep breath of Kurt’s scent – vanilla and honey, sweet and floral.

Flesh and blood, delicate and mortal.

“Being alive?” Kurt looks at Blaine’s pale face and his hard, red eyes; eyes that were once such a beautiful shade of hazel, they were nearly gold.

Blaine smirks again. It’s the only expression of happiness he has. He can’t seem to smile anymore, nothing other than that sinister grin. He runs his lips along the inside of Kurt’s forearm, tracing the paths of his veins with a gentle lick of his tongue.

“Not as long as I have you to remind me,” Blaine whispers. Kurt closes his eyes as Blaine prepares, starting with open mouth kisses along his skin.

Kurt relaxes into Blaine’s side and allows sleep to coax him back into its embrace.

He doesn’t watch. He has long since stopped being fascinated by this part.

The bite is quick; a smooth slip of Blaine’s razor sharp fangs into Kurt’s skin, and suddenly his mouth is filled with Kurt’s unique taste, his mind reeling with images of warm summer walks they shared together; skinny dipping in the lake; late afternoon lunches of Kurt’s famous cucumber sandwiches; and making love at sunset, brazenly beneath the tall willows that grew just shy of the water. By biting Kurt, by feeding off him, Blaine can remember exactly how Kurt’s skin felt with mortal fingers, the warmth of his body pressed against him, the way they fit perfectly, like two pieces in a puzzle that was once the picture of a glorious future together.

One stupid fight and a vengeful, drunken tryst ended it all when the vampire who seduced Blaine turned him into the cold, dead thing sucking the blood from his one true love’s arm.

Blaine breaks away, tracks of bloody tears staining his cheeks, and with a swipe of his tongue, closes the wound. He looks down at Kurt, eyes shut, his face peaceful in sleep beneath the silver light from the moon outside. It’s been a little over a year, yet it feels like only yesterday, but Blaine knows that a time will come when days and nights and months and years will have no meaning for him at all. One moonlit evening, he’ll be here, and Kurt will be vibrant and alive, and in the blink of an eye, seventy years will pass, and Kurt will be gone.

Blaine only hopes that, when that day comes, he’ll be able to find the courage to walk out into the sunlight.

He pulls in closer to Kurt’s sleeping body, rests his head where he can hear the rhythmic beating of his heart, and as he has on so many other nights, he lies awake with Kurt in his arms, dreading the oncoming dawn.

 


	2. Dawn of Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Change is inevitable ... and not always kind ...

Things have changed. Things always change. They must change if life is to continue.

Blaine changed when he decided to cheat on Kurt, even though he could never have predicted that he would become a vampire.

Kurt has changed, too.

When Blaine first came to Kurt’s window in search of his forgiveness - and his _blood_ \- Kurt refused to give in. But over time, he realized how much he missed the love of his life; how, even though they had been ripped completely apart, he would do anything to share a moment or two with the boy that once was.

If that meant spilling a little blood, then so be it.

He never realized how much he would enjoy it – the closeness, the intimacy, the sense of nurturing that comes with fulfilling Blaine’s needs.

Kurt became Blaine’s favorite midnight snack, and not simply because Blaine was now a creature who sought out blood for sustenance, but because Kurt’s blood calls to him. There was a time when Blaine tried to resist that call. He traveled across the world, settling for a while in his parents’ childhood village in the Philippines in order to escape it. But even across oceans, he could hear Kurt’s blood crying out for him. It called to him with memories of their life together, the future they had planned.

The love that Kurt still kept in his heart that belonged only to Blaine.

That love ached inside Kurt every moment he couldn’t be with Blaine. It took the place of oxygen, water, and food, and left him _wanting_ every second of every minute of every day. All the decisions he’d made, all of the changes he had planned on, seemed meaningless without Blaine to share them with.

Which is why, five years to the date that Blaine was turned, they move into an off-the-beaten-path apartment in New York City. Blaine spends the daylight hours in bed with the smell of his beloved to lull him to sleep, make him feel safe and loved and _human_ again. No more hiding out in crypts or burying himself beneath the earth. They black out the windows, put heavy velvet curtains over them to keep out any trace of sunlight. Blaine hunts at night, discreetly prowling the empty city streets, but afterwards, he comes home to his boyfriend.

They accept it as a part of their life together, so they never discuss it.

As long as Kurt gets to spend every night with Blaine - kissing him, touching him, giving and taking from him - Kurt doesn’t begrudge Blaine a single thing he has to do to exist in this world.

Kurt gets the chance to live his dream – classes at NYADA, interning at  _Vogue_ , and coming home to the man he loves. Sun down to sun up they spend naked in bed, Kurt writhing beneath his boyfriend’s cold, hard body as Blaine plants small nips down his chest, traveling along his inner thigh, taking small sips of blood to sate his hunger, but mostly feeding off the moans and whimpers those tiny bites elicit from Kurt’s trembling lips, the breathy whispers of, “Yes … oh yes, Blaine … more … please, _more_ …”

Kurt and Blaine didn’t wait for change. They made it happen. They found a way to be together.

For a while, everything is perfect, but change is inevitable … and not always kind.

Sometimes it interferes with even the most carefully laid plans.

A few annoying bouts of nausea.

The occasional dizzy spell.

More than one bloody nose that Kurt can’t explain.

Kurt jokes with Isabelle that if he didn’t know better, he would say he was pregnant. She doesn’t think it’s funny. She’s certain it’s serious, and she doesn’t let up about it. Eventually, her constant worrying forces him to break down and go see a doctor.

Kurt feels a little guilty handing over his blood to another man, but it’s necessary to put Isabelle’s mind at ease, to prove to her that everything’s fine.

There’s nothing to worry about.

Kurt isn’t worried.

Until he gets the call.

Two follow-up appointments – one with the doctor, another with a counselor – and his entire life flips upside down.

When he finds out about the new possible change in his life, he pushes it aside, hides his grief until he can be completely sure.

Kurt comes home from work late to an anxious Blaine pacing the living room floor debating between leaving to try and find his boyfriend or waiting patiently even though Kurt isn’t answering his phone.

The sight of Kurt finally walking through the door is relief and rapture, and without a word, Blaine takes Kurt into his arms and drags him off to bed. Little does Blaine know that it’s just the distraction that Kurt needs. Blaine’s body keeps Kurt grounded. Blaine uses all of his self-control to resist tearing the Vivienne Westwood suit from Kurt’s body, stripping him of his clothes gingerly and laying them out in the overly particular way Kurt insists upon.

Blaine may be a monster, but he’s not a _savage_ , and that contrast makes Kurt chuckle.

But once he’s naked, Blaine wastes no time nibbling a path down Kurt’s body, eager to feel his boyfriend tremble beneath him, savoring the way his muscles twitch when he hits a spot that’s a bit more ticklish than the rest. Lately though, Blaine has had a harder time getting lost in the sinful, decadent taste of Kurt’s blood. It’s different - the sweet undertone of it tainted by something bitter; not all together _bad_ , just not all together _Kurt_.

Blaine had wondered when he first tasted it whether it was the city changing Kurt’s blood – the new atmosphere, the abundance of pollution, maybe something in the food he was ordering in at work. But some newly acquired animal instinct told Blaine that wasn’t it. He had a suspicion, but he didn’t want to say it out loud, not willing to squash Kurt’s dreams by jumping to conclusions. As he slowly sinks his teeth into the warm flesh of Kurt’s inner thigh, he knows for sure.

Blaine stops, pulls away quickly. Kurt immediately notices.

“What’s wrong?” Kurt pants, gazing down at Blaine’s confused expression with unabashed lust in his eyes.

“You … you taste different.” Blaine frowns, and Kurt gasps in embarrassment. “Not bad,” Blaine adds, “just … different. _Wrong_ , somehow.”

Kurt’s eyes dart away, and Blaine knows that Kurt has been keeping something from him; a secret, and _big_ if the way he blushes furious red is any indication.

“I …”

Blaine doesn’t let him answer. Kurt is a master of the evade, and Blaine knows he’s not about to simply tell him what’s going on. Instead, Blaine crawls up Kurt’s body and bites his arm, into the soft skin of his inner elbow. This is as close to Kurt’s heart as he dares get. He’s distracted for a moment by the way Kurt moans wantonly into the open air, and Blaine almost lets it go, willing to put off discovering Kurt’s secret to get back to the business of giving him pleasure. But all of Blaine’s senses become heightened, and his curiosity overwhelms him.

He takes as much of Kurt’s blood as he dares and then closes the wound with his tongue. He sits up on his heels, holding this essence of Kurt’s life in his mouth, shutting his eyes to concentrate on chasing that foreign flavor that’s starting to take over the one Blaine adores so much. He swallows, and suddenly everything becomes clear. He opens his eyes with a smile on his face, licking his lips.

If he had a heartbeat, it would be pounding out an ‘Ode to Joy’.

“Kurt,” Blaine says quietly, his red eyes shining in the dark with unbridled happiness. “Kurt, you’re _dying_.”

Kurt’s face changes - his lips twist into a pained grimace; his eyes shift to a pale, watery blue; and the color drains from his cheeks. “You … you don’t h-have to look so h-happy about it.”

“How long have you known?” Blaine asks in awe, still so incredibly, morbidly happy that Kurt can almost find it in himself to share in his excitement.

“Not too long,” Kurt confesses. “In fact, I was waiting on some more test results to confirm, but I guess that’s all moot now.”

Blaine takes Kurt’s face in his hands and kisses him gently on the lips.

“Don’t you see?” Blaine laughs as if every dream he has ever had is about to come true, every wish he has ever made, he’s about to cash in on. “I didn’t want to change you because you had your whole mortal life to live, but now you don’t! There’s no reason to wait! You and I … we can be together forever!”

Kurt scoots out from beneath Blaine’s body and sits up, looking his boyfriend deep in the eyes. The red in them is unnerving. Kurt has become an expert at imagining the way they once were, hazel and full of life, like the setting sun in the summer sky.

Kurt has become an expert at lying to himself, too - lately especially. He lies to himself that he has a flesh and blood boyfriend. He lies that what he has with Blaine is real. He lies and tells himself that he has more than enough time to fulfill all of his dreams.

But it’s moments like this when he has to face the fact that none of it is real.

“Blaine …” Kurt takes Blaine’s hand and brings it up to his chest, presses it above his heart so Blaine can feel it beating “… I love you. I do … so much … I’d do anything to stay with you … _anything_ …”

He swallows hard as he feels the mood in the room change, aware that he’s making it change. He sees it in Blaine's eyes as they change, too. Becoming cat-like.

Becoming _frightened_.

“I don’t want to die, but … I don’t want to be a vampire.”

 


	3. Time Enough to Forgive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - Yes, Blaine goes a little overboard with the dark and angry here. He's a vampire.

Death wants to hide. It crawls into dark spaces, away from the light … away from the living. But death need not be so afraid. It can be just as bright, just as beautiful. Some beauty endures, regardless if it lives or dies.

Kurt possesses that type of beauty – a beauty built of strength and grace and dignity. It outshines adversity.

It conquers the dark.

Blaine looks at Kurt’s face, growing ever paler in the fading light, and smiles.

 _Beautiful_. Even now, actively dying, he’s beautiful.

Blaine is going to ensure that that beauty endures.

He brushes the hair from Kurt’s eyes, sweeping sweaty bangs to one side so he can better see Kurt’s face. Kurt blinks weakly, glassy eyes fighting to focus on Blaine’s, burning red in anticipation.

“In a moment, we’ll be together forever, my love.”

Kurt tries to shake his head, _vehemently_ shake it, but it wobbles at best. “I … I don’t want you to do this. It’s my time. I …”

Blaine shushes Kurt, his smile growing ever wider. “I know you’re scared, but it’s all right. You’ll be happy with me. Happier than you’ve ever been. I’ll make sure of it. I promise.”

“You’re not listening to me.” Kurt feels defeated, by _everything_ – the universe, his own body, the love of his life. “You never listen.”

Blaine bites his lip, hard enough to break his inhuman skin. “What are you so worried about?” he hisses, harsher than he intends. “Your _soul_? You don’t believe in God or heaven anyway! So why not stay here with me forever?”

Kurt trembles beneath him, but from the determination on his face, Blaine knows he’s not going to change his mind. Blaine doesn’t want to be angry with his beloved, but Kurt’s constant refusal wears on his patience. It seems like only yesterday that Blaine discovered (what _he_ felt was) wonderful news - that Kurt was dying. For Blaine, it was redemption, the start of a new life for the two of them. He would give Kurt everything he deserved, lay the world at his feet, and in the process, he would stop being damned over one horrible mistake. But then Kurt devastated him by telling him that he didn't want it. He didn't want to be a vampire. Didn't want immortality.

It was like he was saying he didn't want _Blaine_.

Blaine became livid.

"What do you mean you _don't want to be a vampire_?" Blaine had roared.

"Blaine" - Kurt reached for a blanket to cover himself with - "please try and understand ..."

"Understand!? Understand, what!? That you’d rather _die_ than be with me!?!?”

“Blaine! That’s ridiculous! That’s not what I mean!”

“What is there to understand!? We have an opportunity! _Finally_ an opportunity to be together, and you're going to just … just … throw it _away_!?"

"It's not an opportunity," Kurt shot back with equal fire, not willing to back down from the person he fondly referred to as 'his demon boyfriend'. "It's _damnation_! You said so yourself!"

"It was damnation because I wouldn't be able to have you," Blaine explained, still furious. "But now, I can. _We_ can. We _will_."

"No, Blaine," Kurt said, holding firm. "No, I won't allow ..."

"Won't allow what?" Blaine laughed cruelly. "Can you fight me? No, you can't! When you're sick and dying and incapacitated, will you be able to fight me!? No!"

Kurt gasped, horrified, and had Blaine been human, he would have stopped. Would have apologized. Would have felt sorry. But as a vampire, he could only fully negotiate one emotion at a time.

To the outside observer, that emotion seemed like rage.

But it was hurt.

"But ..."

"End of discussion!" Blaine grabbed Kurt's wrists and pinned him to the bed. He smiled wide, showing every one of his gleaming white teeth and razor sharp fangs. "You are _mine_ , and you will be _mine_ for all of eternity!"

With that, he buried himself deep into Kurt's body, fucking his boyfriend with more force than he would have normally, but it was the only thing he could think of to do to get his point across. Kurt was _his_ – his to claim. That’s how his brain saw things now, in stark absolutes.

Blaine was so devastated by Kurt’s resolve to die, so frightened, he never said the one thing that truly mattered.

_I don't want you to die, to disappear, because there's no way I could survive in this world without you. I don’t think I have the strength to follow you. Because even though what I’m doing now is essentially existing, not living, I’m not done with it yet._

It all seemed like yesterday to a monster with no concept of time, but for Kurt, it was a year of mundane tests and painful treatments, of hope and heartbreak, of crying alone in the oncologist's office, wishing Blaine were with him to hold his hand and kiss away his tears. There were times when he completely broke down that he could feel Blaine's presence in his mind, helping him stand taller, helping him carry on.

That was the Blaine Kurt remembered. That was the reason why he let Blaine stay with him. That’s what he was holding on to.

Blaine made love to Kurt nearly every night up until the end, reveling in the taste of Kurt's blood, which became increasingly bitter as his disease progressed. He believed that it was only a matter of time. Despite Kurt's constant protests, they would spend eternity forever.

The prospect of death would change Kurt’s mind. He would fold. Once the certainty of death took hold, Kurt would beg Blaine for the change.

But Kurt is a stronger man than Blaine gave him credit for.

"Blaine," Kurt mutters weakly, breaking Blaine from his thoughts. “It’s … it’s just not natural.”

Blaine can feel Kurt’s breathing grow slow and faint, the once vibrant spark of life inside of him fading. He shakes his head in disbelief.

“And  _this_  is _natural_? Dying before you’ve even had the chance to live is _natural_? Leaving me here alone … that’s  _natural_?” Blaine can’t help his anger now, can’t help it when Kurt seems so willing to throw away everything they have together. Blaine feels bloody tears threatening to fall, but he refuses to let them.

No. Kurt doesn’t know. He doesn’t understand. There is too much at stake to succumb to petty, stupid, _human_ things … things that lesser beings would consider  _natural_.

“Blaine …” Kurt breathes painfully “… I love you. I do … but please … don’t do anything stupid.”

Blaine hears Kurt’s plea, an argument already in mind. But the more those words seep into his psyche, break past the veil of anger, he smiles. Kurt has just given him his loophole.

_Don’t do anything stupid._

Sitting here and watching Kurt die would be stupid.

Not doing something to save Kurt’s life would be stupid.

Anyone would agree.

“Don’t worry, my darling,” Blaine says soothingly. “I won’t do anything stupid. I promise.”

Kurt relaxes, finally at peace, as his final few breaths rattle around in his lungs. Blaine kisses Kurt, gently lingering over his lips, waiting for the perfect moment … that second between the end of life and the beginning of death when Blaine will make his move.

Maybe Kurt will be angry. Maybe Kurt will even hate him. But Blaine doesn’t care. As long as Kurt isn’t dead. Quite on the contrary. He’ll have all of eternity to forgive him.

 


	4. Eternity Isn't Enough

Death doesn't hurt.

Provided that you're not being flattened in a compactor or eaten piece by piece by a wild tiger, death _shouldn't_ hurt.

It's as effortless as blinking.

As easy as falling asleep.

It's not a thought or a decision.

It's an outcome.

Or so Kurt had been told. Countless doctors, oncologists, and death preparation counselors all assured him that death was nothing to be afraid of. It's natural, inevitable, and they promised him that with the amount of medication they were keeping him on in the final stages as cancer ate away at his body, painless.

Kurt passes away quietly, cradled in Blaine's arms. The last thing he sees before his eyelids drop is the glittering amber-gold of Blaine's eyes.

The last thing he sees before he dies is a lie.

Apparently, it isn't the only one.

Because death is painful.

 _Extremely_ painful.

It sears his body, every inch, heat surging through his veins starting from a point behind his neck and filling him with fire. He wants to scream, but he physically can't. His mouth doesn't open. His limbs are numb, useless. All he can do is wait in agony for it all to end. But there seems to be no end. For hours, he simply burns - inside, outside, in every nook and cranny, ceaselessly …

He hears a rushing through his ears like wind. He wonders if he's falling, and, if he is, when will he land? For the hundredth time he thinks, "Here it is. The end. _Now_ it will be over," but it never is.

Through the swishing and the wooshing, he hears voices calling to him.

No … _one_ voice calling to him.

Reaching out to him in the dark.

Cutting through the pain.

Eventually, though he’s not sure exactly how long after, the roaring in his ears stops and the pain finally ends. It dissolves completely without an echo of it to be felt. But where Kurt expects to be absorbed by oblivion, he's still conscious. _Aware_.

He hears the pattering of cockroaches racing through the apartment walls.

He smells hot dogs cooking at Gray's Papaya – ten miles away.

He feels the individual fibers of his cashmere sweater rubbing against his skin.

But it's the thirst – the overwhelming thirst engrained into every dehydrated cell of his body - that forces him to open his eyes.

Countless signals assault his brain – too sharp, too bright, too much color, too much detail – and he shuts them again. He whimpers; the sound of his own voice so alien to his ears that he bites his lip to silence himself.

"It's okay," another voice whispers. It rings like a bell with the clapper slicing into his brain. “Everything’s going to be okay now.”

"No," Kurt moans, raising his hands to cover his head and curling his body into a ball. "No, no, no."

"Shhh …" Blaine runs a gentle hand down Kurt's back. "It'll be okay. You'll get used to it. It'll be fine."

Kurt rocks back and forth, trying to ignore the fabric that's insanely too soft for his skin; trying to push aside the smell of cooking meat, which is now revolting to him; and every single noise that's trying to worm its way into his skull. He needs to find a way to block them all out before he goes completely mad.

The thirst, though, refuses to be ignored.

Bit by bit, he comes to his senses.

He's dead. He's supposed to be dead. So is this hell? What's happening to him?

"Just concentrate on my voice," Blaine says. "Listen to my voice and shut out the rest."

"I can't." Red tears slip down Kurt’s cheeks. "I can't … it's too much …"

Blaine remembers this. It's a fainter memory now than it was, but he can recall the fear, the confusion, the sensory overload. When it happened to Blaine, he was alone. The vampire who had bitten him left him. Laughing, he abandoned him in the shady hotel room Blaine had rented for the night. Blaine didn't know if the man had ever intended on coming back for him, but once his skin started to prickle with the rising of the sun, his instincts took over. He buried himself deep within the earth, where he stayed all day and into the next, screaming through his insanity, choking on loose soil as it filled his mouth. It pressed down on him until he realized that it wouldn't kill him …

… because he was already dead.

"It won't get any better until you learn to ignore it."

Blaine tries to help, but Kurt isn't listening. He's so thirsty, he feels like he’s going to dry up and split in two. Blaine knows it's there, and tries to think of any way to relieve it so that Kurt can cope; bide until the thirst strikes again.

Blaine has an idea, but he doesn't have the time to explain it. And even if he could make Kurt understand, he's not sure Kurt would leave the safety of the apartment and go outside where the noise gets louder and the smells get stronger. Blaine scoops him up in his arms and carries him to the fire escape. Kurt, too distracted to argue, doesn't notice when Blaine bounds up the metal ladder and leaps across the alley, jumping from rooftop to rooftop. Blaine uses his senses to guide him, relying on his supernatural hearing and smell to tell him where he needs to go.

Kurt isn't like him. He wouldn't kill someone to feed his own thirst, so Blaine needs to find the next best thing.

Blaine lands on the helipad of a hospital and stops, taking a deep breath in to make sure he's found the right place. He locates a grate in the wall and breaks into the ventilation system. Awkwardly, he carries Kurt down to the lower level, where the morgue and blood storage is located. Blaine manages to find an exhaust vent that leads straight into the cooler.

Kurt's reaction to a room full of refrigerated blood is instantaneous.

He stops weeping in Blaine's arms as the scent of blood compels him. In the blink of an eye, Kurt is out Blaine's embrace and on his feet, ready to tear through the cooler doors.

"Hold on now." Blaine sneaks in front of Kurt and undoes the bolt before Kurt can rip the door off its hinges. "If you destroy the place, we'll never be able to come back." Blaine hands Kurt a pouch of A-negative and watches him feed, sucking through pint after pint, not leaving a single drop behind in their plastic pouches. He takes more than his fill, but Blaine doesn't stop him. Why should he? The more Kurt eats, the more he'll be able to stave off the thirst.

In minutes, Kurt is sated, sighing with relief, relaxing back in on himself with a content smile on his blood-stained lips, as if he's already forgotten what he is, what he’s been doing.

"How do you feel?" Blaine asks.

Kurt looks at Blaine and laughs a giddy laugh. Then he glances around him at the emptied plastic husks that were once full of human blood. The smile on his face fades.

"Empty," Kurt says. "I feel empty."

Blaine locks the cooler doors, and Kurt pitches the plastic pouches into the nearest biohazard bin. They make their way back up the ventilation system, cleaning up any trace that they had been in the room; not too hard since Kurt didn't spill a single drop. They climb through the vents, the scent of putrid night air cluttered with pollution and exhaust guiding them onto the roof. They crawl out, and Blaine fixes the grate back into place.

They walk across the rooftop towards the edge. Blaine stops at the guard rail, but Kurt ducks under and walks out onto the ledge, right to the very end. He crouches low, wind whipping his hair around his perfect, porcelain skin, and looks out onto the city down below.

"How did you do it?" Kurt asks, his voice flat and emotionless. "How did you control it?"

"You never control it," Blaine says sadly. "You learn to ignore it."

"But _how_?" The desperation in Kurt's voice manages to reach a place in Blaine that he thought no longer existed.

"I had you as my anchor. I can be your anchor, too."

"You had my blood!" Kurt accuses, throwing his hands up over his ears to block out his own booming voice. "I don't have yours! I don't have an anchor! I have nothing!"

"You have _me_!" Blaine pleads. "We have each other!"

"But I didn't want any of this!" Kurt cries, bloody tears returning, following the tracks of already dried tears and tinging his cheeks a darker, grotesque red.

"I didn't have a choice! You were dying! Right in my arms, you were dying!"

"Then you should have let me die!"

Breathless and broken, Kurt spins around, searching for a way out. Blaine reaches out for him, but Kurt puts a hand up to stop him.

"No! No, leave me alone! I want to be alone!"

"Wh-where … where are you going?" Blaine asks, panic seeping in at the prospect of Kurt leaving him to meet the dawn.

"I need some time. I need to think." Kurt sighs, staring down at the busy street below. "I need to leave."

“No! Wait!” Blaine rushes forward, but Kurt leaps. Blaine runs to the empty ledge. He looks out, up and down, all around the street below. He listens for the sound of Kurt's footsteps landing somewhere in the city, but it's too late.

Kurt is gone.

Blaine tries to track him, catch any hint of his scent on the wind in an attempt to catch up with him, but Kurt is surprisingly fast. All through the night, Blaine searches for Kurt, putting off feeding to give him more time before sunrise. He returns to the apartment, barely making it before the first morning rays of light singe his skin. He hides in the dark apartment, the long daylight hours ticking by slowly, the oppressive sunlight keeping him penned in, unable to do anything but lie still and hope that Kurt is safe beneath the earth.

That he didn't surrender to the light.

Long weeks pass and every day is the same. Blaine leaves the moment the sun sets in search of Kurt, returning before the dawn to hide out during the day, hoping each time that Kurt will be there waiting for him.

A month goes by and Kurt has yet to return.

Eventually, Blaine stops looking. He stays in Kurt's bed, buried beneath the sheets that still smell like delicate, _human_ Kurt. He feels his body shriveling from dehydration, but he doesn't care. The thirst dies down to a numbing ache that no longer drives his existence. He has nothing to exist for. Blaine made a mistake – a horrible, terrible, heinous mistake. Kurt didn't want to be a vampire, but Blaine didn't listen, and now his arrogance is his undoing.

Kurt will never forgive him.

Kurt is not coming back. He has most likely seen his last sunrise.

Blaine has lost everything.

Blaine always swore he would follow Kurt into death, but he waits a few days more - not for the love of his life, who he knows is gone, but trying to find the courage to end his own suffering.

Blaine feels the sun dip below the horizon. He crawls out from beneath the blankets and, with his head on Kurt’s pillow, watches as the shadows in the bedroom start to lengthen, the last rays of sunset painting the sky and then disappearing completely.

He had lain awake all day planning his last night as a vampire. He’ll travel to the places that were special to Kurt – his childhood home; Dalton Academy, where they shared their first kiss; Breadstix, where they ate dinner every Saturday night; even McKinley High School, specifically the Finn Hudson Auditorium, named after Kurt’s stepbrother after he passed away. Finally, he'll find a nice place to rest outside the Anderson family crypt in Westerville and let the light of day take him, leave him a scorch mark on the grass-covered earth.

His legs are weak, but he’s determined. He doesn’t believe in God or an afterlife, not after what he’s been through, but he longs for an end to this. With Kurt by his side, he had hope for a future. Now, if Kurt has been turned to dust, obliterated from the planet, Blaine longs for the same. He stumbles toward the window, confident he can make it to Ohio before his strength gives out completely. But when he reaches it, he sees an angel blocking his exit - wild and terrible, with wide red eyes, skin deceptively pure and white. Strong hands grip the frame of the window as the angel stares down at him - motionless and beautiful.

Blaine knows he's hallucinating. The ethereal creature that looks so much like his Kurt can't be real, but he steps back anyway, tripping over his feet. The angel rushes in, catching him before he falls.

"Blaine!" Kurt cries, carrying Blaine's body to the bed and laying him down. "What happened to you?"

Blaine sighs in defeat, what remained of his energy gone. "I thought you weren't coming back," he says, his throat dry, his voice raspy from disuse. "I thought you went away to … end it."

Kurt shakes his head, a sad smile ghosting his lips. "I wouldn't do that without saying good-bye."

Blaine licks his lips, trying to find moisture in his mouth to help him talk. "Is that why you came back? To say good-bye?"

Kurt pulls Blaine close. "No.”

"Why not?" Blaine asks, genuinely confused. "I thought you were angry with me."

"I was," Kurt admits. "But I had some time to think …"

Blaine laughs sarcastically.

"Okay, maybe I took a _little_ longer than I expected." Kurt looks guilty; as guilty as a soulless monster _can_ look.

"But you're back now?"

"Yes." Kurt gazes into Blaine's eyes, the red flame that once burned brightly in them so close to going out. "I'm not saying good-bye to you."

Kurt gathers Blaine up in his arms the way Blaine did on that first night and walks with him to the window.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Blaine asks, not entirely convinced that Kurt isn’t planning on them both walking into the daylight and dying together.

"We're going to get you better," Kurt says, laying out his plan for the sad specter cradled in his arms. "And then we're going to travel the world, do everything and anything we could ever dream of. And then, when we're done, we're going to do it all over again."

"And sex," Blaine squeaks with what's left of his voice. "We're going to have lots of sex."

Kurt rolls his eyes. "I guess we can find time to do that." Kurt stops on the fire escape and places a gentle kiss on Blaine's dried, chapped lips.

"We have an eternity," Blaine whispers.

Kurt shakes his head, leaning close enough to brush his lips over Blaine's cold cheek, trailing kisses down to his chin.

"An eternity isn't going to be enough."

 


End file.
